10 Signs You are a Horrible Wife from Hell (or Girlfriend too)

   

     If we love someone, we tend to overlook their flaws.  That is why it's called love. You love them even with their mistakes and shortcomings.  But what if you're too much to handle and you've gone overboard with your idiosyncrasies? 

     Generally, people tend to cast their doubts on men about how they treat their wives or girlfriends. Men have been stereotyped as the cause of pain of so many women, disregarding the fact that women also contribute to the factors why men behave the way they do.  Some women are really impossible to deal and live with so we should not readily put the blame on men who are just clueless why women behave irrational at times. Now ask yourself, do you have the signs of a horrible wife or girlfriend from hell?

1. NAGS TOO MUCH- In some serious cases, women nag too much because they really want to be in control not only of the situation but also of their men. They see men as someone who cannot be trusted, either with chores or truth.  A nagger has always something to say to irate her man and create issues that aren't actually there.  This is just to let her man feel that he is not capable of doing things and must immediately change for them to have a good relationship.  A nagger  just doesn't know when to stop and she doesn't care whether her man is already on the verge of exploding.
2. MANIPULATIVE-  There is a fine line between influencing and being manipulative. Some women tend to act kind and nice in front of their men but will actually devise plans to get what they want.  A manipulative woman wants her man to withdraw from his families and friends.  So every time he has a boys' night out or family gatherings, she  will let him go but at the last minute, she will find some excuses why he can't go anymore, like, she is not feeling well and he needs to stay by her side, or has an emergency, etc. She may say everything is okay but in reality, her head is shouting profanities. She  will get her man's trust but create situations that will look like she is a victim of the situations that he created and thus , she needed saving all the time. So her man, who thought he was giving  her a hard time, will submit to her demands.   A manipulative woman also has a tendency to lie.  She does this easily with out any feeling of regret.  (Read here The Signs of a Manipulative Wife)
3. SHE MAKES HER MAN FEEL INFERIOR-A woman who belittles her man has some serious personal issues. It shouldn't matter whether she fares better than him. Sometimes, the one who does this stunt is the insecure type who needs to insult her man in front of many people. This it to show to the people that she can control him and she has the upper hand in their relationship.  It also doesn't matter whether he is doing his best to have a healthy relationship. It won't matter anyway because she always finds fault in everything he does. What's worse, she feels good while doing it. (Read here Signs of Inferiority Complex)
4. COMPLAINS ALL THE TIME- Same as nagging, a complainer complains about anything that they don't like. If it doesn't suit her taste, she whines.  She always finds mistake in everything: weather, her health, the traffic, the food, the dog next door, the parking lot at the mall etc.  She does this constantly and she won't shut up! 
   
5. SHE DOESN'T ADMIT HER MISTAKES- An immature woman who cannot take responsibility of her actions always put the blame to someone else.  She always let her man takes the blame and insists on it.  It is easier for her to blame someone than admit to herself that she was wrong and not good enough.  Why?  Because blaming him to share the guilt is easier than working out her shortcomings. (Read here When you are blamed for everything by your spouse.)
6. RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL-  A man who is seriously in love would want his woman to meet his family or friends.  But a rude woman will take it as a joke and not even consider how he feels for his family.   Rude as she is, she won't greet them properly or have a pleasant conversation with them.  Rude wives also offend anyone.  She is always like a raging bull ready to fight head on whoever gets in her way.  He, on the other hand, always finds himself asking for apologies for her attitude.  The worst part is that he is always the easy target of her uncanny, irrational, rude behavior.  (Read here How to deal with an impolite spouse.)
7. SO DAMN LAZY- A horrible wife is a lazy wife.  Household and the kids should be the first in her list of her priorities.  It doesn't necessarily mean she herself needs to get down on her knees to do the menial stuff.  She at least needs to be the one in charge of managing the household. It is understandable if she has lots of things on her hands but what if she just spends the day doing nothing?  Also, depending too much on your man to do everything for you is so old school.
8. DRAMA QUEEN- A drama queen is someone who habitually takes everything in a melodramatic way.  She always exaggerates and always feels the world revolve around her and that the world owes her something.   If your man paid for a subscription of your endless drama, then go ahead, make a full length drama reality show.  See if your man will quietly take your crap every time. ( Read here 15 Signs of a Drama Queen.)
   
9. SHE GOSSIPS AND SPREAD RUMORS- Women are light talkers and they love to tell everything to their friends. It is fine as long as it isn't causing any harm to anyone.  But if you're constantly having these conversations with your friends to spread rumors that aren't confirmed as true is a sign that you're a gossip girl.  It is not a good trait and it can cause damage to other people.  Yes it is not proper for anyone to say a lot of bad things to others just so  you can have fun with your friends.
   
10. DOES NOT SUPPORT YOUR DECISIONS-A good wife or girlfriend is someone who may not always understand you but will always support you. A wife who is unsupported of her man on the other hand, will make her man feel that he isn't loved and respected. He may also feel that he is unappreciated and alone if his decisions are always challenged.  A bad wife is someone who takes everything personally and brushes off her man's call for support on a whim. 

These are just some of the signs that some of us might already have.  But if you have more than half of it, then you better need to work on those bad attitude and habits to save your relationship.  These things can be eliminated if you and your man will take time to solve your problems and talk everything out.  No problem is that big if the two of you support each other. And lastly, if love is bigger than your problems, then it will be easier for you to change those ugly signs and say goodbye to being a horrible wife.

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9 Things Independent Women Do

" Coz she move like a boss, do what a boss. Do she got me thinkin' about getting involved. That's the kinda girl I need".

-Ms. Independent by Neyo-

     Being an independent woman has many faces.  Why so?  Because a woman who can do her thing has no prototype.  She has so many things rolled up her sleeves. She can be your boss at work and also the  woman who washes your dishes at home.  She can be that champion of  a worker who fight  a cause for the many, or the woman who also loves to stay home and just read.  Being an independent woman is not a state of being.  It is a state of mind. 

     An independent woman is someone who controls her life.  She is not someone you can push your bull shit down her throat.  She can take care of herself, you and so many priorities in life.  So have you already met one? Know their qualities:

1.  CONFIDENT-  A confident woman is someone who is self-assured.  She is comfortable with her own skin.  She doesn't get insecure with gorgeous women or put down people to make her feel better.  She knows herself well and will not let anyone tell her otherwise.  She loves herself including her imperfections. Because of this confidence, whatever she looks like,  she projects a positive aura that draws people to her. 
2. DOESN'T SETTLE-  If the one she is having, may it be food, company of people, or books she is reading, there is one thing she does.  She has standards.  She knows her worth and she doesn't settle. She may compromise sometimes to get the bigger fish but if it doesn't suit her expectations, do not expect her to silently suffer with what you have to offer.  Because honestly, if she is capable of getting what she wants, why would she settle for less?
3. SHE IS FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT- What an independent woman needs from anyone is not money.  She needs loyalty, friendship and love. A partner and a relationship. For her, a man is not an financial plan.  Things that money can't buy.  She can afford herself.  She is self-reliant and can live with or without a man to support her.
4. SHE MAKES DECISIONS-A strong independent woman is decisive of her actions.  She knows what she wants and acts on it.  Although sometimes women are easily swayed by changing emotions, a highly independent one does it better.  She doesn't let her emotions the deciding factor of her choices in life.
5. SHE DOESN'T PUT HERSELF DOWN-Trust me, we all have our down moment, but a strong woman knows it is time to lift her chin, face her fears and move up if insecurity is already slowly seeping to her system. No, she cannot allow it to happen.  Because once it does, it will be the bane of her existence.  
6. SHE DOESN'T COMPETE FOR ATTENTION- Women are known for the endless dramas in real life.  Some women needed that attention as an assurance that they are important to others.  But independent women need nothing of that.  They just work their asses off, live a decent life, create something beautiful, live confidently on their own and do their things quietly.  They do not boast their achievements.  They do not hover over the limelight because independent women are the ones emitting lights.
7. COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE- The very thought of being alone scares many women.  But strong ones love the idea of doing things on their own, alone but not entirely lonely. Some people believe that independent women are those who hate men and do not need them to complete their lives.  No, it is not that.  It only means that even without men, they can function well in the society without the need to continuously support their emotional system.  But of course independent  women love the company of men (or woman for that matter).  They do not just rest their whole lives on them. They have their own career, their lives in shape, and are investing on themselves for their own self growth.
8. SHE KNOWS HOW TO SAY NO-  Sometimes we are compelled to do requests if they are from the people we care about most.  Then we juggle the million things that we need to do just because we can't say no.  Saying yes all the time is tied to insecurity and low self esteem. While saying No has been closely linked to self confidence.   Independent woman has the ability to say NO.  If it conflicts her interests and values in life, then she won't  do it.   
9. SHE KNOWS HOW TO HOLD HER HEAD HIGH.  A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted.  She will, at some point try to fix things but she will not beg.  She will just walk away. And if she already did, there will be no turning back.  

        Independent women are now creating bigger industries in the world.  The idea of women as soft, weak, emotionally deranged are now becoming obsolete. The amazing thing about being an independent women is that they find their own happiness inside of them. They create things for them to be thankful everyday.  They don't dwell on negatives, or blame others for the bad things happening around them.  What's more, they act like a lady, work like a man, and think like a boss.  And if people we meet are like them, oh what a beautiful life it is!  

    Are you that strong, independent woman with those qualities?  If not, then learn these simple things by heart and be that strong independent woman this world needs.

Stop Comparing Your Life and Move Up!

 

Ok, if I were to become a lady boss by my own right, then I need to push down that insecurity down the drain.  I have never been insecure in my life until recently when health made me paranoid at all times.  Too much stress and thinking unimportant things created a havoc in my life.  I never knew that I could be this low.  I started thinking less of myself and saw others’ success as a story in a book, a fantasy, something that I could never be.  

I am not the jealous type.  I don’t turn green with envy. But the more successful friends I see, the more I feel small. I don’t hate them or envy them.  Never.  I actually am happy for them. And why the hell not? They are my friends.  But the ugly part, I gauge what I did with what they did. Little did I know that I am already comparing what they did to mine.  And this is bad.  So bad because I know in my heart that we all have the same goal in mind:  to be successful.  But what differs us from one another is the what and which roads we are taking to get there.  Some have reached a point of success they already envisioned for themselves.  Some, still in the journey.  Some, in standstill of their lives and still contemplating what else to do.  And some like me, started out strong, but road blocks and hills were on the way.  So we were stalled.  I am stalled.  I am in that point where I question myself what happened to me.  What should I do?  Should I stay?  Should I go or head back to where I started from and start from scratch?

The problem with stopping on the road is time.  How long should I stop here?  I am wasting precious time, right?  I should be already doing this and that!!!  But we should remember this:  We hold the time of our lives and I have decided that I also have time for everything.  I have time to be confused, to be down, to feel low, and to mourn about it.  It is my right to feel bad about myself, pause, contemplate and decide what to do.  Oh yes I am in the point of my life where I don’t really know what to do because of too much happenings  in my life made me what I am now.  Give me time to heal and to stand back again.  So like everyone else who gathered enough strength after a downfall, remember this:  No one should take away this time of healing for yourself to be able to fight back to life again.  

It also doesn't help if you continuously think what others can do compared to you. It's like being in a company where ten of you do the same thing. But the actual amount of passion, of time, of a piece of your life that is given to that same job makes a big difference. How you value what you do and how you create a piece of work makes all the difference. We are all unique in every way. Do not let the fear of being just one of the many stops you from doing what you really like.

Now, I have decided to continue writing the chapters of my book of success.  I have spent too much time lagging behind that I forgot how I wanted my life to be.  Yes, the goal is the same but I will take a high road.  I don’t regret stopping for so long because during this slow process, I have learned more about myself.  I really thought after being separated from my ex husband was the worst in my life but I realized it was nothing compared to what I have gone through this past few years.  My battle is with myself, my principles in life. Now that I have risen from the dead I know life can throw its dirtiest crap on me, take a beating, and still come up strong. But of course it would be much easier if along the way friends and families will be there to support you.  But if you don’t get the support you need, then woman up, chin up and hold your crown!

And yes, I want to be a Lady Boss.  So you ladies out there who can’t start writing the chapters of your life, fret not.  It is not an easy task.  Don’t undermine yourself by comparing yourself with others.  Your life is different from anyone else.  Live it according to your rules.  No one is stopping you.  No one can stop you.  So hats off to all who have decided to be the queen of this crazy world.