9 Things Independent Women Do

" Coz she move like a boss, do what a boss. Do she got me thinkin' about getting involved. That's the kinda girl I need".

-Ms. Independent by Neyo-

     Being an independent woman has many faces.  Why so?  Because a woman who can do her thing has no prototype.  She has so many things rolled up her sleeves. She can be your boss at work and also the  woman who washes your dishes at home.  She can be that champion of  a worker who fight  a cause for the many, or the woman who also loves to stay home and just read.  Being an independent woman is not a state of being.  It is a state of mind. 

     An independent woman is someone who controls her life.  She is not someone you can push your bull shit down her throat.  She can take care of herself, you and so many priorities in life.  So have you already met one? Know their qualities:

1.  CONFIDENT-  A confident woman is someone who is self-assured.  She is comfortable with her own skin.  She doesn't get insecure with gorgeous women or put down people to make her feel better.  She knows herself well and will not let anyone tell her otherwise.  She loves herself including her imperfections. Because of this confidence, whatever she looks like,  she projects a positive aura that draws people to her. 
2. DOESN'T SETTLE-  If the one she is having, may it be food, company of people, or books she is reading, there is one thing she does.  She has standards.  She knows her worth and she doesn't settle. She may compromise sometimes to get the bigger fish but if it doesn't suit her expectations, do not expect her to silently suffer with what you have to offer.  Because honestly, if she is capable of getting what she wants, why would she settle for less?
3. SHE IS FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT- What an independent woman needs from anyone is not money.  She needs loyalty, friendship and love. A partner and a relationship. For her, a man is not an financial plan.  Things that money can't buy.  She can afford herself.  She is self-reliant and can live with or without a man to support her.
4. SHE MAKES DECISIONS-A strong independent woman is decisive of her actions.  She knows what she wants and acts on it.  Although sometimes women are easily swayed by changing emotions, a highly independent one does it better.  She doesn't let her emotions the deciding factor of her choices in life.
5. SHE DOESN'T PUT HERSELF DOWN-Trust me, we all have our down moment, but a strong woman knows it is time to lift her chin, face her fears and move up if insecurity is already slowly seeping to her system. No, she cannot allow it to happen.  Because once it does, it will be the bane of her existence.  
6. SHE DOESN'T COMPETE FOR ATTENTION- Women are known for the endless dramas in real life.  Some women needed that attention as an assurance that they are important to others.  But independent women need nothing of that.  They just work their asses off, live a decent life, create something beautiful, live confidently on their own and do their things quietly.  They do not boast their achievements.  They do not hover over the limelight because independent women are the ones emitting lights.
7. COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE- The very thought of being alone scares many women.  But strong ones love the idea of doing things on their own, alone but not entirely lonely. Some people believe that independent women are those who hate men and do not need them to complete their lives.  No, it is not that.  It only means that even without men, they can function well in the society without the need to continuously support their emotional system.  But of course independent  women love the company of men (or woman for that matter).  They do not just rest their whole lives on them. They have their own career, their lives in shape, and are investing on themselves for their own self growth.
8. SHE KNOWS HOW TO SAY NO-  Sometimes we are compelled to do requests if they are from the people we care about most.  Then we juggle the million things that we need to do just because we can't say no.  Saying yes all the time is tied to insecurity and low self esteem. While saying No has been closely linked to self confidence.   Independent woman has the ability to say NO.  If it conflicts her interests and values in life, then she won't  do it.   
9. SHE KNOWS HOW TO HOLD HER HEAD HIGH.  A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted.  She will, at some point try to fix things but she will not beg.  She will just walk away. And if she already did, there will be no turning back.  

        Independent women are now creating bigger industries in the world.  The idea of women as soft, weak, emotionally deranged are now becoming obsolete. The amazing thing about being an independent women is that they find their own happiness inside of them. They create things for them to be thankful everyday.  They don't dwell on negatives, or blame others for the bad things happening around them.  What's more, they act like a lady, work like a man, and think like a boss.  And if people we meet are like them, oh what a beautiful life it is!  

    Are you that strong, independent woman with those qualities?  If not, then learn these simple things by heart and be that strong independent woman this world needs.

My Last Love Letter to You (Prologue to Moving on)

Dear you,

Yes you.  I'd like to tell you now how I miss you.  How I miss our late night talks, our childish plays, our time shared together talking about everything and nothing in particular.  You can only imagine how I always play in my mind the love  you made me feel, the beautiful things that you made for me, the words that sounded so genuine and sweet in my ear. That in spite of the hard circumstances we both have, I always had the reason to love you more.

I wanted something just like this:  you and me walking in the rain because we failed to bring our umbrella and you would wrap your arms around my head protecting me from the rain.  Or  hearing you laugh coz you thought it was funny why I was so afraid of the sound of the rain falling on the roof of the house.  Or when you call at the end of the day and just fell asleep while talking to me.  And then I would only hear  the sound of your slow breathing and I would smile to myself coz you already fell asleep.  That was the tenderness that I longed for sometimes.  It felt so special that we shared this kind of bond. When time just stood still and  everything around us just disappeared.  It was just you and me that only mattered. We were in a trance-like state most of the time.

Then everything changed.  Gone are the late night talks, the regular text just to check on each other. You used to be so concerned about me, now we act like strangers. Every time I looked for you, you just left me with no explanation at all. Every time I brought up the issue, you were just defensive with your answers. You let days passed by without asking about us. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. We grew apart just like that. We no longer talk to each other like we used to. It pains to see how our love just went away.  What were you hiding? If you fell out of love at least give me the decency to know that you had a change of heart.

Still I waited for you patiently. It really broke my heart but I never gave up on you. On us. We promised to be true to each other yet you couldn't even look me in the eye and tell me what was wrong. What was worse, you couldn't bear to be with me so you did everything to avoid us being together. You wouldn’t even let me know if I did something you didn’t like.  I was waiting for you to tell me how your day was, or how was life treating you. But you just stopped telling me things about you. So you built a wall between us that I didn't know how to break or get through just so I'd know what was on your mind. You just stopped caring.  I didn't know if I should wait a little more or leave you because what if you were having problems on your own? What if you looked for me and won't find me there? It would break my heart knowing your heart was also broken.

There are so many questions in my mind that I'd like to ask but I don't have the guts to do so because I might not be able to handle the truth. In my heart I knew the answer but I still couldn't accept the fact that it wasn't like before. That you already changed and it wasn't like it used to. That I was the only one fighting to make it still work. And if I gather enough courage to ask you I might not let you go. I might make a fool of myself and I never  want it to end like that. Call it pride or what but to me, it's self preservation.

It's hard turning my back from you but it is even harder waiting for you to be what you used to. I am on the verge of the cliff and I couldn't jump or save myself  because the one pushing me to the edge is you.  I already knew deep in my heart what I always knew: You had a change of heart but you didn't have the courage to tell me. And I was left hanging in the middle of frustration and hope. I was waiting for you to reach out for me.  But you weren’t there anymore. I waited enough for you. Enough to lose myself in the process. Enough to hide from the people who mattered to me just to fight for someone I knew I already lost.  I am lost. But I will find myself again.

Oh yes I do miss you. But I will not run after you. For all I know you might be missing me too. You might really love me too. But what are you doing to make me stay? I don't want to be misled by a false hope that you need me too. I get so teary eyed just thinking of you but I will not hold on to this feeling anymore. I will let you go like I let myself go when I fell in love with you. I will let you go knowing I might get my old self back. I know I lost you but you also lost me. I used to be so afraid that I might not be able to carry on without you. But even with you I've been alone all along. I was in the relationship by myself. And it took me so long to finally realize it.

So however this hurts me, I want to stop now. Yes, I can finally say it's over.  As I write this last love letter for you I will end the last chapter of our story. Yes I am ready. I will no longer rerun the memories of us in my mind. I will no longer entertain the feeling of sadness I felt because we grew apart. I will no longer long for the tenderness you had for me. I will just stop and thank you.  Thank you because one way or another you really made me feel loved and happy. No one can take that away from me. And I will forgive myself for being this broken. I will try to forget how this left a hole in my heart. I will try so hard and I will not falter.  So when the time comes someone walks into my life, I will be completely healed and whole and ready to love again.

P.S.

I want my old sweater back!!!